Don’t smile cause I never actually called you that in real life. I might not have said that four-letter word to you, but there’s no argument to the fact that you’re one superhero God used to groom me.
And not just me of course.
Today makes it 5 years dad. Five years just like that.
A whole lot has changed, and we still very much miss you. I see it in those awkward moments when we crack a joke that reminds us of you or what you’d have said or done.
I see it when we stylishly tease each other on who takes after you facially, who has your height, your nose and your smell.
I feel it deep but subtly when I walk on the streets and see fathers drop their kids off at school.
I see it when the pressure gets so much to mum and she breaks down silently in tears.
I see it when I know a whole lot could have been different were you still here.
Yes, I see it.
I see it when I think of all the fantasies that might never be, who’s gonna do that father-daughter dance with me on my wedding now? Oh well…
We obviously miss you so much, superhero.
But what aches me is that you’ve missed out on how the past five years have changed me. You are not here to see the woman I’ve become.
Dad, I swear you’d be proud.
All those long talk and investments you made on me, my hero. I didn’t default. I made mistakes quite alright, but those mistakes have contributed to shapen me to the woman I am today.
You were the biggest influence on my growing up as a principled individual, you had so much confidence in me and till date the self-confidence you helped me develop still scares me. I mean, I’m faced with the dilemma of daily differentiating between having rich self-esteem and having mere cockiness.
I know if I choose to write all we spoke on, all you taught me as a guide through life. It sure would make a bestseller. But hey hero, I treasure your words. For my siblings, I try to reference you each time. For my kids unborn, I intend to follow suit.
I miss our gists, and fights. Lol. It took a while getting to be gist partners with mum, but we’re really cool now. For real!
I miss having to watch wrestling every night with you while everyone else is asleep. I miss eating garden eggs and groundnut with you while everyone else leaves us be. I miss you confiding in me. I miss you asking me to wash your clothes. I miss me asking what you’d eat.
We miss you. Mum misses you. Your kids miss you.
You weren’t perfect tho, your demise taught me a few things as well. Now that I think of it, perhaps that was the plan. Maybe, maybe not.
Hero, you know what tho. I’m truly happy you’re at peace.
Nigeria isn’t funny and rosy per se anymore, you can’t even spend 5 Naira in peace. Like!
This country needs a revolution. And the challenges in Nigeria daily tries the human side of people, tries our faith but we have overcome.
Let’s move away from Nigeria small, how’s God the Father? And Jesus too?
I envy you stylishly tho. Away from the hustle and bustle of this world.
You found enviable peace away from this wicked world.
Don’t get worked up about how we’re faring down here. We sure miss you at home. But God has been keeping us.
And He’s not finished yet. We’re all gonna make you proud hero.
You did make us proud after all.
The Ugbor clan loves you. Five years doesn’t exactly feel like five. It sometimes feels like yesterday and sometimes feels like so long.
Say hi to Father Abraham for me. And yeah also greet fine boy David too (it’s just a friendly greeting dad, chill! 😉)
Your one true fan.
Your first baby.
Stephanie Ugbor. 😘